"Wedding Dance" Couple Takes on Domestic Violence

When the JK Wedding Entrance Dance video started making its way around the internet, I watched it...a couple times. I thought it was great and was like, "that's what I'm going to do whenever I get married." In case you missed it, here's the video:



A tip via Twitter from @erinmjustice pointed me towards this article about the couple whose wedding this was and their fight against domestic violence. Their choice of song in their wedding entrance dance ("Forever" by Chris Brown) has increased downloads of the song and all of that money goes to Chris Brown. To combat this, they are trying to raise money for domestic violence prevention.

On the couple's site (jkweddingdance.com), it states,

Due to the circumstances surrounding the song in our wedding video, we have chosen the Sheila Wellstone Institute. Sheila Wellstone was an advocate, organizer, and national champion in the effort to end domestic violence in our communities.

I can see the reasons behind chosing "Forever" (that they are going to be together forever and all). And while they didn't expect their video to be so popular and to increase sales for Chris Brown, I think that it is great that they are using their "fame" to help combat domestic violence.

Women in Home Security Commercials

Home security commercials usually make me uncomfortable, but I've never really been sure why. But then I realized that these commercials usually focus on women being attacked while they are alone in their house. The one that especially makes me uncomfortable is this one where the woman is attacked my an abusive ex-boyfriend:



I know that these kinds of situations, where a woman is alone in her house or alone with her children, are very realistic fears for people, they are certainly not the only instances when people break into houses.

Are these commercials playing off of violence against women to make money? It certainly wouldn't be the first (or last) time. But the one that really gets to me is the one above where they play off of the very realistic and traumatic situation for many women: domestic violence.

I am all for women protecting themselves. Maybe a home security system would be beneficial for women who have abusive ex-boyfriends who stalk them. But when a company uses domestic violence and violence against women in general to sell their product, then I have a problem.

And all these commercials do is promote fear to make women feel uncomfortable in the one place where they should be able to feel safe: their home. By featuring primarily women alone in their home in these commercials, the companies are implying that women cannot protect themselves and therefore need a man, whether a physical man in the house or a man ready to call when someone breaks in. The reason men are not featured in these commercials is because they are capable of protecting themselves.

Chris Brown's Apologizes For That "Incident"

Chris Brown recently released this video apologizing for, you know, that "incident" in February. In the video, it is very unclear what he apologizing for. He only talks specifically about domestic violence when referencing what he experienced in his childhood. He only mentioned Rihanna by name once. If you didn't know what had happened in February, you would be really confused.

I'm still not quite sure if this apology video should be taken seriously. Yes, I'm sure he is sorry for what he did to Rihanna...and sorry for the backlash that it caused against him. What about you? Do you think his apology is truly, 100% heartfelt? Or is it (if only partly) a publicity ploy aimed at gaining public approval again?

Further Reading:
On Chris Brown's Public "Apology" [Feministing]
Chris Brown Apologizes For That Thing He Did [Jezebel]
Chris Brown Can't Admit What He Did [Womanist Musings]

This Week In Blogs: June 21 - 27, 2009

Every Sunday (at least I hope), I will be posting some fantastic posts from other feminist blogs from the week.

Feminist bloggers have a lot to say and deserve to have their voices heard. These women (and men) have interesting and insightful opinions on a wide variety of topics. And I cannot comment on everything that happens in feminist news. So here we go...

• A couple in Sweden raises their child outside of the gender binary. Is this possible to do in a society full of gender socialization? Is it worth it? Ann at Feministing and Holly at Feministe weigh in.

• The way to solve the "abortion problem" is to start paying women to carry their babies to term and give them up for adoption, at least according to two men from Beliefnet and Slate.
  

• What should be a man's obligation when he impregnates a woman? Apparently men should have the right to refuse child support.

• Michael Jackson died at the age of 50. While remembering his gifts to the world of music, should we forget his indiscretions?

• Amnesty International creates a new ad campaign aimed to educate people about domestic violence using an eye-tracking camera. Ellen at Choices Campus Blog and Vanessa at Feministing discuss the implications in depth.

• Should women have to sign an informed consent to get breast implants?

• Honor women filmmakers, there aren't that many of them. New war/action film from Kathryn Bigelow released on Friday.

These are only some of the great feminist blog posts that I read this week, but they offer some valuable insight into the world of feminism, feminist analysis, and women's rights.

Happy reading! If you have any other blog posts that you find interesting from this week, please leave them in the comments below.

What Happened to Weeds?

I used to love the show Weeds. It was sarcastic, had great social commentary, and always kept me interested. But something has changed. Something has been bothering me about the show lately. It all started when the Botwin's moved out of Agrestic and to Del Mar. And Nancy's move away from selling pot and into the Mexican mob.

The main thing about this move that bothers me is Nancy Botwin's relationship with Mexican mob boss, Esteban. I hate this guy, and I'm pretty sure we're supposed to. At least I hope we're supposed to hate him.

Nancy and Esteban have an abusive relationship. But nothing is being done about it. He rapes her, he hits her, he threatens to kill her...and when she gets pregnant, she is forced into constant surveillance and going to a doctor that treats her like dirt and Esteban like a God.

Nancy barely stands up for herself. She tries to protect her family the best she can, but not very well. While I think (hope) we are supposed to realize that this is an incredibly unhealthy relationship, I wish the show presented ways that women could get out of situations of domestic violence. It could show women who are actually in this situation that there is a way out, that there is hope, and that there are services and people out there to help them.

One More Step Towards Ending Violence Against Women

Today the White House announced the appointment of a new White House Advisor on Violence Against Women, Lynn Rosenthal.

In this new position, Ms. Rosenthal will serve as an advisor to the President and Vice President on domestic violence and sexual assault issues; be a liaison to the domestic violence and sexual assault advocacy community; coordinate with the Department of Justice’s Office of Violence Against Women (OVW) on implementation of Violence Against Women Act programs; coordinate with the Department of Health and Human Services on implementation of Family Violence Prevention Act services (including the National Domestic Violence Hotline); coordinate with the State Department and USAID on global domestic violence initiatives; and drive the development new initiatives and policy aimed at combating domestic violence and sexual assault with advocacy groups and members of Congress.

This new office is just one more step towards ending violence against women. While the battle is still far from over, by giving the issue the importance that this office does, more people will become aware of the seriousness of this issue.

Support Healthy Families

Girl With Pen wrote a post today on the need for paid sick leave for both American workers and employers. The Center for Economic and Policy Research recently published a report titled "Contagion Nation: A Comparison of Paid Sick Day Policies in 22 Countries." This report found that the U.S. is the only one of these 22 countries that does not require paid sick days or leave for employees. As a result,

each year millions of American workers go to work sick, lowering productivity and potentially spreading illness to their coworkers and customers.

The CEPR then published a follow-up report titled "Paid Sicks Days Don't Cause Unemployment." As you can tell from the title, requiring employers to provide paid sick days does not cause an increase in unemployment. In "Contagion Nation," the authors state,

A substantial body of research has shown that in addition to the obvious health and economic costs imposed on employees by the lack of paid sick days or leave, significant costs result as well for employers. Workers who go to work while sick stay sick longer, lower their productivity as well as that of their coworkers, and can spread their illnesses to coworkers and customers.

As you can see from this research, there is a need for paid sick days and not a whole lot of threat of unemployment.

The Healthy Families Act, which is currently in the House of Representatives, would require companies with more than 15 employees to provide seven paid sick days. I think that this is an important piece of legislation because it will not only help American workers, but it will have a great impact on the lives of working women. This act allows paid sick leave if you are sick, to care for an ill family member, or to seek domestic violence services. Women are usually the ones who are burdened with caring for ill family members and to be affected by domestic violence.

I recently wrote my representative, Hon. Vern Ehlers (cough...Republican...cough), to urge him to work towards passing this act, for the reasons I've mentioned above. His response: "I recognize the value of paid sick leave, but am concerned about the potential impact of this legislation of small businesses." After reading this post from Girl With Pen and learning about the reports from the CEPR, I am considering writing to him again with more evidence to my point. I urge you to write your representatives. NOW has some more information on the act and a sample letter to send to your representative.

Chris Brown is Finally Guilty

Did we ever have any doubts? I'm guessing that many of you are familiar with this case. Chris Brown has pleaded guilty to assaulting his girlfriend Rihanna. CNN reported that:

Under terms of the agreement, Brown will serve five years of probation and must serve 180 days in jail or the equivalent -- about 1,400 hours -- in "labor-oriented service," said Sandi Gibbons, spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office. He must also undergo a year-long domestic-violence counseling class, she said.

Brown's sentence is comparable to other felony sentences when the defendant has no previous record, she said.

"This is not an easy sentence," Gibbons said. He must check in with a probation officer every three months.

I don't really have enough of a background with assault or domestic violence cases to know if this is a fair sentence or if he is being let off a little easy, as many celebrities are. Feministing has some doubts on the effectiveness of the sentencing as well.

Rihanna was apparently at the trial and the judge issued something like a restraining order on Brown. Rihanna didn't want this because she has apparently forgiven Brown (as was all over the entertainment news earlier this year) but her lawyer advised that she accept the "restraining order" at least until Brown finishes domestic violence counseling.

I am in complete support of the restraining order, even though I think women should have a choice in who they spend their time with. But Rihanna is in such an influential position for young girls and women and I feel like she is just showing people that domestic violence is ok if you really love the person. Love can forgive all. Even a public beating. This semi-restraining order (if publicized in the right way) can show these young girls and women that domestic violence is not something that is part of a normal relationship and is not ok.

Do you all think this is a fair sentence for Brown? What do you think about Rihanna's "restraining order"?